"Did I say the right thing?", "Was that the right thing to do?", "Was I too hard?", "Should I have said yes?"
Recognizable? Almost every woman I know asks herself these or similar questions every day.
Women often tend to self-doubt, keep themselves small, and push themselves to the background for the sake of their loved ones. They always put the other before and often forget to take care of themselves.
But I believe that we women have an indomitable soul with a flame that never goes out. If we only find a way to make this flame burn harder, it can help us and light our path.
In this blog post, I'll share five ways that hopefully can help you feel more confident in the choices you make and feel more at peace with the Fire Woman that lives within you.
Tip 1 - Don't take things personally
From the moment you get up in the morning, the stimuli begin to affect your day, your mood, and practically everything else - your state of mind is unfortunately affected and determined by what goes on around you.
However, you can limit this influence by not taking things personally. If something goes wrong - it's not your fault. Sometimes things just go wrong, sometimes things have to go wrong in order to succeed.
And yes, it may be that things go wrong because you made a choice that did not work out well. But you know what, so be it. Grieving about what happened will not make it better, nor will it change its outcome. If someone says something to you that makes you rub or press all of your buttons, take a deep breath and realize that it's 100% about that person and not you. If you go against it or immediately go on the defensive, you can count on anything you say will be used against you again.
Remember the saying, "If you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all."
Give it a try, I promise it will be a real challenge in the beginning, but once it is integrated into your system it will change your life.
Tip 2 - Speak and act from love
This may sound a bit floaty and idealistic, but let's be honest.
If you speak and act with pure loving intentions, you can actually say almost anything and it will be received in a good, safe, and peaceful way.
Before saying anything, ask yourself, "If this were said to me, how would I like to hear it?"
When you want to say something but are afraid it could be misunderstood by the recipient, start your sentence with, "I say this with love ..." and then proceed with what you wanted to say. This gives the receiver a sense of security and ensures that the defensive claws can remain down.
Tip 3 - Learn to accept help with grace
Women often believe that they have to do everything on their own. Asking for help and more than that, accepting help is often labeled as a sign of weakness and proof that they can't handle something. But nothing could be further from the truth.
A real fire woman hands out help. She knows it is so good and satisfying to lend someone a hand.
Why would she deny anyone that feeling? By accepting help, a true fire woman makes the other feel good about herself and, as a bonus, saves her own energy for other things.
Tip 4 - Do your best for today
Every day is different. The quality of your sleep, the number of hours you slept, the tasks on your list.
Your energy level is no different in that regard and can vary from day to day.
Do not set yourself expectations and do not put too much pressure on yourself so that at the end of the day you will feel that you have actually done nothing.
Learn to understand yourself. Learn not to make unrealistic demands and accept that what you're doing today is the best you can do.
Tip 5 - Gratitude is the best attitude
Take a moment for yourself. Every morning before you get out of bed, take a moment or two to pause and be thankful for all the good things in your life. The Universe responds in a very positive way to a grateful soul.
Be grateful for waking up, for the air you breathe, for the weather outside, for the breakfast you're about to eat, for the hot shower you're about to take.
Be grateful in advance for all the experiences you are going to have, for all the people you are going to meet and most importantly, be grateful for who you are.
Gratitude really works - give it a try.
About the author
Limor Smits is an alternative life coach, shadow coach, spiritual mentor, inspirator and motivator.
In her practice she offers private sessions as well as workshops in groups.
She also organizes monthly fire women's circles and gives various inspiring and motivating lectures in which she shares stories from her personal life and experiences.